Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
