One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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