official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
