mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
