There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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