Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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