The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
