i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
