she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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