never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
