Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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