i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
