I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
