no, he came in my armpit
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
