don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
