I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
