I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize