I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize