How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
how does that bad decision feel?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
