So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize