quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
