My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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