There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
