Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
