Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
someone owes me an orgasm
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
As shirtless as possible
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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