I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
