ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
