This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
