bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you win again, gameday.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
