moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
