every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
