She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
