I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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