I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
