How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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