I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
