he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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