And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
