I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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