Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Drunk is not a location!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize