I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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