who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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