I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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