She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
