Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
