i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I pour the whiskey from now on
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
