I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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