i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize