thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
