ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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