is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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