you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
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We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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