Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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