goodnight i made you a song goodbye
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
