Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
