Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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