YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
