So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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