I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wish there were birth control emojis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize