i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
